Discretion and safety pull in opposite directions: discretion says tell nobody where you are going, safety says tell somebody. This page is how to do both, plus what to do when something goes wrong.
Before you meet anybody
- Talk for long enough to have a sense of them. A week of real conversation, not three messages. People in a hurry to meet are in a hurry for a reason.
- Do a short video call. Non-negotiable. It confirms the person exists and matches their photographs. Anyone who refuses one after a reasonable conversation is telling you something.
- Check the verification badge, and filter to verified members only if you prefer. See what it does and does not mean on the verification page.
- Reverse-image-search a photograph. Twenty seconds, and it catches a large share of fakes.
Agree in advance
- Where: public, busy, and in a neighbourhood neither of you lives in.
- When: daylight if possible. A weekday afternoon is the most useful window for most members.
- How long: agree an end time before you start. It gives you a clean exit that needs no excuse.
- Transport: your own, both ways. Never accept a lift on a first meeting.
- What this is: anybody pushing past what you agreed, beforehand, will not respect it afterwards.
Telling somebody without explaining anything
You do not have to disclose your private life to protect yourself:
- Share your live location with one person for three hours. No context needed.
- Or schedule a message to a friend for a set hour, which you cancel when you are home. If it sends, they call you.
- Or, at minimum, leave a note on your own device saying where you are going and who with.
On the day
- Arrive separately, and get there first if you can.
- Pay for your own. It removes any implied obligation in either direction.
- Keep your drink with you. This applies to everyone.
- Stay in the public place. Not a car, not a room, not a walk somewhere quieter.
- Keep enough battery to get home and a way to pay that does not depend on them.
Leave if any of these happen
- They do not look like their photographs.
- They pressure you to move somewhere private.
- They had been drinking before you arrived.
- They ask for money, for any reason, however small or well explained.
- They photograph you without asking.
- Something feels wrong and you cannot say why. That instinct is information.
You owe nobody an explanation, and you do not need to be polite about leaving.
Money: the rule with no exceptions
Never send money to somebody you met online. Not a loan, not a medical emergency, not a customs fee, not a UPI transfer that will be returned tomorrow. Every romance scam runs through one of those sentences. Nobody legitimate here will ever ask, and payments between members are banned outright — see the Anti-Trafficking Policy.
Protecting your discretion
- Turn off notification previews on your device, not just for this app. iOS: Settings → Notifications → Show Previews → Never. Android: hide sensitive content on the lock screen.
- Use the quick exit — the control at the top of every screen leaves for a neutral page without leaving a back-button trail. Press Escape twice to blur the screen instantly.
- Nothing leaves the app. There is no phone number on this platform to be found on your phone later, because the platform does not carry one.
- Audit your shared accounts. Photo sync, a family tablet signed into your account, a browser logged in on a home laptop. This is how most people are actually discovered.
- Never send an identifiable intimate image. The single most consequential rule on this page.
- Delete conversations you no longer need. Deletion here is permanent.
If you are being blackmailed
Do not pay. Do not negotiate. Do not delete the evidence. Report it. Paying confirms you will pay, and the demand returns.
You are the complainant, not the accused: adultery is not a criminal offence in India, and extortion is (Section 308, Bharatiya Nyaya Sanhita, 2023). Publishing intimate images without consent is an offence under Sections 66E and 67A of the IT Act, 2000.
- Cybercrime: 1930 · cybercrime.gov.in
- Report the member here — we preserve the account data for a lawful request.
- StopNCII.org blocks an image across participating platforms without you uploading it anywhere.
Helplines
- Emergency: 112 · Women’s helpline: 181 · Cybercrime: 1930
- National Commission for Women: 7827170170
- Tele-MANAS (mental health): 14416, free, 24 hours, multiple languages
Being on a discreet platform does not reduce your right to report anything, to us or to the police. Our support team has never once required somebody to explain why they were here before helping them, and it never will.